The PRIDE Skills: How Parents Stay Present During Play
Within PCIT’s child-directed play, caregivers practice a set of relational skills designed to strengthen connection and communication. These are known as the PRIDE skills.
These skills help parents stay engaged in their child’s play without taking control of the activity.
The PRIDE Skills
Praise
Notice and acknowledge what your child is doing well. Specific praise helps children understand which behaviors are being appreciated.
Reflect
Repeat or paraphrase what your child says. Reflection communicates that you are listening and that their thoughts are important.
Imitate
Join your child’s play by doing something similar to what they are doing. This shows engagement and interest in their ideas.
Describe
Narrate what you observe your child doing in the moment. This helps children feel seen and encourages focus on the activity.
Enthusiasm
Express warmth and enjoyment while playing together. Children notice the tone and emotional energy a caregiver brings into the interaction.
What to Avoid During Child-Led Play
During child-led play, caregivers are also encouraged to avoid certain behaviors that can unintentionally shift control away from the child.
- Questions that interrupt the flow of imagination by shifting attention toward providing answers
- Commands that take control of the play and move it away from the child’s direction
- Criticism that makes children feel their ideas or creations are being judged
By emphasizing presence instead of direction, these small shifts in interaction help children experience play as both independent and supported.
For many children—especially those who have experienced stress or unpredictability—this kind of attuned presence can be deeply regulating. Child-led play allows them to experience both independence and connection at the same time.
Which of the PRIDE skills feels most natural to you? Which one do you notice takes more intention?
